I Used To Be Smart...

I used to be smart and interesting, I really did. I used to watch the news and read books by authors other than Dr. Seuss. I used to be able to carry on a conversation with getting distracted and having to say, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" at least twice. I used to have a witty answer to the question, "So, what have you been up to?" I used to be a lot of things before I became a mom.

Now, I don't watch the news because not only do I not have time but I have a 6 year old who soaks it all up like a sponge and then asks questions about tragic events for days. I still try and read on occasion but I have been reading the same 20 pages of Anna Karenina for two weeks now because I am so tired when I get into bed at night that I just can't keep my eyes open. As for conversations, well I am usually trying to keep an eye on all 3 kids at the same time and am therefore virtually unable to maintain eye contact which, in turn, leads to other distractions like wondering whether or not I remembered to take the chicken out of the freezer. And, I have come to hate the question, "So, what have you been up to?" I hate it not because it isn't genuine but because the sad truth is that I don't have an interesting answer. When I quit my job 6 years ago to stay at home with Avery, my days and duties came to revolve around childcare and homekeeping. I seriously doubt that anyone really wants to hear about how I did the happy dance when I finally got the grease stain out of Jeff's work pants or about how I got Ethan's diaper rash to clear up in just 1 day. Please.

But, there are always trade-offs. I may not be able to tell you the name of any cabinet members (okay, maybe 1) but I can tell you by the sound of the cry not only which of my 3 it is, but if he/she is actually hurt. I can tell you not to waste your time with Boudreaux Butt Paste, but that an oatmeal bath works wonders. I know that Wal-Mart has the cheapest groceries and that rubbing alcohol will erase Sharpie marker from stained wood cabinets.

As useful as all of that may be, it probably isn't what you would want to chat about over cocktails. Unless, of course, you used to be smart--like me....