"The fundamental mission of motherhood now is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and his purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully.
-Sally Clarkson from the Mission of Motherhood.
I saw this quote on another mom's blog yesterday (www.flythroughourwindow.com) and instantly adored it. Every so often, I need a reminder that as a mom, I do have a mission and that there is a bigger picture. More often than I'd like to admit, the job of motherhood becomes about surviving the day and I wind up parenting more out of emotion than good sense. I wish that I could say that I jump up out of bed every morning eager to see what new adventures the day will bring for myself and my children but those romantic visions are sometitmes shattered by the realities of life and the words, "Mom, I peed in my bed."
I love my children more than I ever thought it was even possible and I do relish so many moments in our lives but temper tantrums, soggy sheets and runny noses can have a way of bringing even the most enthusiastic of mothers down. So, it's nice to have an inspiring quote that reminds me of my mission.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
storytime
This Wednesday was the start of preschool storytime at our public library. So, I invited a friend to meet us there with her 2 little girls and I loaded up Hannah and Ethan to go and listen to some stories. I thought it would be great. I thought I had found an outing that could become the type of ritual that Hannah and Ethan would one day look back on and say, "Oh I remember when Mom used to take us to the library for storytime when we were little. I loved it..." Well, let me just tell you, not only was I wrong but the whole thing was a real beating.
First of all, preschool storytime lasted for 45 minutes. I don't know many 3 year olds who can sit still for 45 minutes but they don't have the same last name as me...Then, the very dry, very out-of-touch librarian read book after book. All the while, I attempted to entertain Ethan with every toy and trinket in my purse and Hannah fought him for space on my lap rather than sitting on the rug with the rest of the kids. After half an hour, I had to give up and take them out.
Later that night, still clinging to the idea that I might be right about having found a beloved ritual, I asked Hannah if she had liked storytime at the library. "No. I didn't like it. I just like the one where we sit in my bed and you scratch my back."
"Yeah, I like that one too," I said smiling and realizing that the beloved ritual had been here all along.
First of all, preschool storytime lasted for 45 minutes. I don't know many 3 year olds who can sit still for 45 minutes but they don't have the same last name as me...Then, the very dry, very out-of-touch librarian read book after book. All the while, I attempted to entertain Ethan with every toy and trinket in my purse and Hannah fought him for space on my lap rather than sitting on the rug with the rest of the kids. After half an hour, I had to give up and take them out.
Later that night, still clinging to the idea that I might be right about having found a beloved ritual, I asked Hannah if she had liked storytime at the library. "No. I didn't like it. I just like the one where we sit in my bed and you scratch my back."
"Yeah, I like that one too," I said smiling and realizing that the beloved ritual had been here all along.
Monday, February 1, 2010
controlled chaos?
This is what our playroom looked like yesterday, less than 2 hours after the kids got up from nap time/rest time. I really struggle with toy messes at our house. I know that my kids have a real need to play and that they will make messes but there has to be a better balance between their need to play and my need to not have my house look like something in the path of Hurricane Katrina.
The other aspect of toy messes that I struggle with is the picking up and how much responsibility to put on the kids. The playroom was obviously a complete disaster but Avery’s room needed to be picked up as well. So, in an attempt to establish a weekly ritual where she picks up her room on Sunday evenings, I sent her upstairs to tidy up. I felt like it would be asking too much to have her then come downstairs and help clean up the playroom even though she had, no doubt, been one of the main culprits in the playroom mess.
That left me standing in our post-Katrina playroom with a 19 month old and a 3 year old. I recruited their help with some age-appropriate tasks but the bulk of the work fell to me, Mom. What a shock…
So, my rhetorical question is this: How do I allow my children the freedom to play and be creative without having my house turned upside down at least once a day? And, how do I balance the need to teach them to be responsible for their things with not wanting them to feel as though they spend their entire day picking up?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
i heart primroses
I feel in love with these pretties a several years ago when I saw them in a magazine. I just love how bright and happy looking they are. So when I saw that they were on sale at Calloway's, I decided to go and get some for my front porch. Don't they make you wish for spring?
Friday, January 22, 2010
unsolicited advice
Recently one of my best friends announced that she and her husband are expecting their first baby. So exciting! They have been waiting so long and now it's finally their turn! So, being the wise mother of 3 that I am (stop laughing), I decided to put together some advice for her.
1. Enjoy being pregnant. Those sweet little kicks and somersaults don't last and are the beginning of you bonding with your baby. Savor it!
2. Start stashing your extra fast-food napkins in your glove box. You never know when (or what) you will have to clean off your kid and his car seat.
3. Pregnancy and breast feeding ruins your boobs. Period. Just go ahead and wrap your head around that now.
4. You don't know what it means to be tired. Sorry to break it you, but all the times in your life that you have thought you were tired will pale in comparison to life with a 4 week old. Go ahead and wrap your head around that too.
5. Be prepared to miss your mom more than you ever imagined. Becoming a mother when you don't have a mother is very difficult. Friends cannot take her place, but they can listen to you cry about it...
6. Invest heavily in products from the Clorox and Lysol companies. But be warned, your house will never really be clean enough. You'll get over it. Babies have survived dirt and germs for generations.
7. You will become far more familiar with poop that you ever thought possible, hence the need for the aforementioned Clorox products.
8. There are a lot of parenting books, but unfortunately none written specifically for your child. Use the bits and pieces from books that you like, trust your instincts and wing it.
9. Make time for yourself. Even if it only means taking 15 minutes to shower, take the time to do something for yourself every day. Read a chapter in a book, watch a TV show, browse the internet, whatever. Maintaining your sense of self as a person and not just a mother is important.
10. Make your husband a priority. As hard as it might be to muster the energy, try and set aside a few minutes for him each day. Ask about things that matter to him, aside from the baby. I promise, you will both benefit. Trust me.
1. Enjoy being pregnant. Those sweet little kicks and somersaults don't last and are the beginning of you bonding with your baby. Savor it!
2. Start stashing your extra fast-food napkins in your glove box. You never know when (or what) you will have to clean off your kid and his car seat.
3. Pregnancy and breast feeding ruins your boobs. Period. Just go ahead and wrap your head around that now.
4. You don't know what it means to be tired. Sorry to break it you, but all the times in your life that you have thought you were tired will pale in comparison to life with a 4 week old. Go ahead and wrap your head around that too.
5. Be prepared to miss your mom more than you ever imagined. Becoming a mother when you don't have a mother is very difficult. Friends cannot take her place, but they can listen to you cry about it...
6. Invest heavily in products from the Clorox and Lysol companies. But be warned, your house will never really be clean enough. You'll get over it. Babies have survived dirt and germs for generations.
7. You will become far more familiar with poop that you ever thought possible, hence the need for the aforementioned Clorox products.
8. There are a lot of parenting books, but unfortunately none written specifically for your child. Use the bits and pieces from books that you like, trust your instincts and wing it.
9. Make time for yourself. Even if it only means taking 15 minutes to shower, take the time to do something for yourself every day. Read a chapter in a book, watch a TV show, browse the internet, whatever. Maintaining your sense of self as a person and not just a mother is important.
10. Make your husband a priority. As hard as it might be to muster the energy, try and set aside a few minutes for him each day. Ask about things that matter to him, aside from the baby. I promise, you will both benefit. Trust me.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
society of the sick
Two days ago I boarded a plane just before dawn and made my way to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota to be with my parents as my Dad underwent heart surgery. The Mayo Clinic is a world renowned hospital where people from all over the world come to seek help and hope for their medical needs. There are so many people here that it feels as though there is a separate sect of our society whose lives have come to revolve around doctors' appointments, various forms of testing and hospital stays, a "society of the sick," if you will. As I walk the halls of this famous institution, I cannot help but notice their faces.
There are families of all sizes and walks of life who have gathered here to be with loved ones, each of whom means as much to their family as my Dad means to me. There are sick children, whose parents wear brave, capable faces. There are elderly couples, who have spent their lives together, holding hands as they struggle to navigate the maze of underground tunnels and skybridges on their way to the next appointment. They walk slowly, unsure both of where they are going and what the future will hold. And, there are those who have traveled here alone whose faces are taut with worry.
I do not spend much time in hospitals. I have been oblivious to those who do. There are those to whom hospitals must feel like a second home, distressing though it may be. Loved ones put their lives on hold to help care and advocate for the sick. Huge sacrifices are made in the blink of an eye.
Fortunately, the Mayo Clinic is able to help and offer hope to many of the patients and loved ones who come here -- as it has done for our family. But, I know that not everyone can be helped.
I am glad that I have made this trip, not only to offer support and companionship to my parents but also to learn a lesson of gratitude. My husband and I are healthy, our families are healthy and our children are healthy. We are truly blessed and I am grateful...
There are families of all sizes and walks of life who have gathered here to be with loved ones, each of whom means as much to their family as my Dad means to me. There are sick children, whose parents wear brave, capable faces. There are elderly couples, who have spent their lives together, holding hands as they struggle to navigate the maze of underground tunnels and skybridges on their way to the next appointment. They walk slowly, unsure both of where they are going and what the future will hold. And, there are those who have traveled here alone whose faces are taut with worry.
I do not spend much time in hospitals. I have been oblivious to those who do. There are those to whom hospitals must feel like a second home, distressing though it may be. Loved ones put their lives on hold to help care and advocate for the sick. Huge sacrifices are made in the blink of an eye.
Fortunately, the Mayo Clinic is able to help and offer hope to many of the patients and loved ones who come here -- as it has done for our family. But, I know that not everyone can be helped.
I am glad that I have made this trip, not only to offer support and companionship to my parents but also to learn a lesson of gratitude. My husband and I are healthy, our families are healthy and our children are healthy. We are truly blessed and I am grateful...
Friday, January 8, 2010
back in the swing of things
We officially got "back in the swing of things" this week. Jeff went back for his first full work week in quite some time and on Tuesday, Avery and Hannah headed back to school. With everyone else back at their normal routines, I had no choice but to return from my housecleaning hiatus and get down to business.
Now its the end of the week and we are all exhausted. Avery moaned about having to go to school this morning and can't seem to keep her mind focused long enough to learn her spelling words. Hannah is sleeping late, very late. And I am not even finished with my coffee and am already trying to talk myself out of going to the grocery store this morning. Who needs bread and milk anyway???
Now its the end of the week and we are all exhausted. Avery moaned about having to go to school this morning and can't seem to keep her mind focused long enough to learn her spelling words. Hannah is sleeping late, very late. And I am not even finished with my coffee and am already trying to talk myself out of going to the grocery store this morning. Who needs bread and milk anyway???
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